tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57314521532890197442024-03-13T03:18:02.125-07:00Twirly ReadsTwirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-18273439990772462882013-05-26T13:54:00.001-07:002013-05-26T13:54:24.028-07:00Summer is here!FINALLY.<br />
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The semester is over and I can finally breathe and return to blogging and reading. I had no idea that the semester would take over my life as it did, especially with one class. I'm anxiously waiting for the news of my final grade but have found myself buying books everywhere I go to add to the ever growing stack of summer reading books. :)<br />
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I've already finished one (GOLDEN by Jessi Kirby), attended my first signing (Copperfields in Santa Rosa, CA) and started on book two of the summer (Second Chance Summer by Morgan Matson).<br />
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Be on the look out for a photo filled, book list filled update soon now that I'm back in the swing of things. :)<br />
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<br />Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-9959971594421560242013-04-28T11:38:00.003-07:002013-04-28T11:38:51.000-07:00Pieces of Me (my life through reading and memories)This post has been brewing for a couple of months now, but I just wanted to warn everyone that it <b>may be triggering</b>. I'm going to mention eating disorders, sexual assault, and abuse/neglect. <br />
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Over the last year, I've read a good amount of books. Nothing like the amount I used to read in my High School or Jr. High days, but a good amount. It brought me to a couple of amazing books that really challenged me. The books shook me, made me remember and made me really think about what I've gone through.<br />
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It hasn't been easy. It's been ugly, emotionally draining and outright scary at times. Only a few people really know what I've been through because it's not only hard to talk about, but it's already hard enough to cope with on a day to day basis.<br />
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I struggle with these things every single day. Even if I look "okay" on the outside, chances are - I could be having a hard time. It could be any little thing that sets me off - sending me into downward spiral where I just break down and have to put myself back together and fight through.<br />
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There are times where I have to force myself to just take a step back and a deep breath before pushing through and going forward.<br />
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Except, it's not that easy.<br />
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People think it is. I've heard it from a lot of them. They think that because I'm in a better, safer place now that I can just pick up and move on. That I can just automatically change and be better. They assume that I'll just be able to turn off the memories and suddenly be OKAY.<br />
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I can't. I won't. These <i>aren't</i> something that I can just forget and be one hundred and ten percent okay one day out of the blue. I don't think they ever will be. <br />
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When you've experienced situations like the ones I've been through - looking back isn't easy. It's hard. It's a mess of tears and it's ugly. It takes a lot to go back there, and I'm there a lot because it's brought me back to where I am today. The truth is: I still struggle. Every day. Every day is a new challenge to face, a new day to push through.<br />
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There are a lot of things I've never talked about with a lot of people. Not because I don't trust them, but because what I've been through is hard enough to even think about myself, much less completely open up and talk to them about everything.<br />
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I've read three books that really challenged me and made me think. They made me cry, they made me remember and they made me think about what I've gone through to get to where I am today. IF YOU STAY by Courtney Cole, IN HONOR by Jessi Kirby and my most recent read - IF YOU FIND ME by Emily Murdoch.<br />
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Each of these books has touched a part of me in some way, deep down. They've uncovered memories, challenged me to face my past and open up to a select few. They've challenged me to realize how far I've come and have reminded me that I'm not alone, even their characters have experienced some of what I have.<br />
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In the darkest of days, that is what calms me. It's what encourages me to remember that I'm going to be okay, that when things get bad - to take a deep breath and remember how far I've come. Those three books have forced me to take a closer look at where I've been and really pushed me to start to heal - very, so very slowly.<br />
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I simply don't have enough words to thank each of these authors. It's been a long, hard journey to get to where I am today but with these three books - I can finally feel like I can face these things, to open up and to most importantly to realize that "Hey, this is me. This is what I've been through." I haven't really been able to do that until this past year and with each of these three books, I've been able to do that more and more.<br />
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Thank you for the stories and your characters who have been where I've been, to help me remember and trust enough to get this all out. It's a journey I have been needing for years now and as scary as it is to remember, and to open up - I know that it is something I need to do. I need to do this for myself in order to process my experiences and be able to begin to heal in some small way.<br />
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<a name='more'></a> Last night as I read IF YOU FIND ME at work, curled up on the couch I was struck by how much Carey and I were alike. I was suddenly remembering the years where I had to do whatever I could in order to survive and to take care of myself.<br />
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There were times where there wasn't enough food to eat in the house - and if it was there, it was rotten or old. I had to eat whatever I could, where I could in order to make sure I had something to eat. I walked a couple of miles one day to the store to buy a jug of milk and some bread just to have something to eat. I don't remember the details, but I'm fairly certain I had to scrape together whatever change I could in order to do just that.<br />
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The place I lived in at that time (and before we moved into that apartment) were a disaster. They were filthy. I was living in filth, but just trying so hard to get by each day. Going to school was a struggle. Coming home was even harder because nothing changed in those few days I was away from there. Looking back, I wonder what would have happened if someone had called about my situation - I wonder where I'd be now and what would have happened. <br />
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That was about the time I really started to struggle with eating. Maybe it had to do with the fact that there just wasn't much around. I would go days with barely eating anything only to stuff myself for a day or two before starting the circle all over again. It was bad. It was really bad - I had people who only saw me once a week (if that) begin to comment on how much weight I'd lost.<br />
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I knew it was bad - but it was one of the very few things I was able to control in my wild, broken life at that time. I had finally had enough at one point and reached out for help. I was referred to a doctor, explained my situation and was bluntly told that:<br />
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<i>"There is nothing wrong with you. You are just a normal teenage girl."</i></blockquote>
Oh. I can't begin to explain how damaging that was on top of everything else I was experiencing and going through already. I had finally worked up the courage to reach out and get the help I knew that I needed only to be told that there wasn't a thing wrong with me.<br />
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What happened was that I continued the cycle. I don't remember how many years ago that was - but I'm still fighting it every day. It's so scary at how easy it is to slip back into that cycle when I'm stressed or overwhelmed and it's even scarier at how hard I have to fight myself to pull myself up and out of it. The entire experience was damaging.<br />
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Put that together with a home situation where I didn't care about anything - I was too busy trying to survive. Forget school. I went to school and zoned out, trying to figure out how I was going to get through the afternoon at home. I'd fill my backpack up with snacks from various vending machines just so I knew I'd have something to eat later at home.<br />
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I knew my teachers knew something had to be going on at home - but none of them stepped up to ask what was going on.<br />
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Not a single one of them.<br />
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I had been a star student at the beginning of the year - and now towards then end I was in a downward spiral and no one cared. No one did anything to try and get some help, or to ask if I was doing okay. So I let myself stay there - I just didn't care about anything but trying to survive.<br />
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Pair that with someone coming into my life and even without words I knew she thought that I was worthless, that she could step in and control every aspect of my life without asking. I had to do what she said, or god forbid, the wrath. I hated it. I was put beneath her, I was used and even without her speaking to me - I knew she hated me and felt that I was worthless to her.<br />
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I was just another person in her way.<br />
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As the years went on - I just wanted to survive. I kept to myself, I didn't talk about this stuff with my friends. I kept it inside, locked away - a secret that I didn't want to let out. I had become so focused on my survival that I realize, years later - I don't remember many things. I've blocked so much out, and in way... I think that's for the best.<br />
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I'm sure I don't want to remember some of it, but I do.<br />
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I remember the bits and pieces. The fear, the anxiety, the hunger every day because there wasn't anything to eat unless I brought it home in my backpack. I remember the stress of going back and forth from house to house, and then stress of moving - hoping that a move would make things better...<br />
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Only to find out that it didn't. We'd be okay for awhile before we went right back to where we were. No food, filthy and I was just focused on my own survival to care about anything else. I had to do what I could in order to take care of myself.<br />
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No one at that age should ever have to go through that. <b>Ever</b>.<br />
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Somewhere in there - I began to grow up, to slowly discover myself. I realized somewhere along the way that I was gay. That alone was terrifying. On top of everything else, that was one of the more terrifying realizations I had come to.<br />
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I kept it to myself, not wanting to share it with the world. I was still living through hell at that point, I didn't need another thing to push me down further.<br />
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Eventually I got brave enough to come out.<br />
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I was told that I was wrong, that I just needed to experience "the other side" before I made up my mind. I was pushed, I was held (physically) against my will. Boundaries were crossed, trust was broken and I lost a big part of myself in that. It's a part of my I'll never get back because trust was broken and I was assaulted by someone that I trusted and cared about.<br />
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To this day - I still feel disgusted by it. I still get woozy thinking about and the cold chills. I got out of there - of that place, away from that - but it's not something that easily goes away. It never will. I have to keep my guard up constantly because of this.<br />
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That memory brings me back to growing up - playing in the front yard and having the creep neighbor J (as I'll call him) watching me all too closely. He'd lean up against his red truck, shirtless, drinking beer after beer and he'd watch all too closely. I was too young at first to understand - but when I was older - the realization hit me like a brick.<br />
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<b>He wanted me. </b><br />
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That all became too clear one afternoon when I was outside and he called me over to his house. I remember standing on the walkway as he stood in his doorway, urging me, begging almost - for me to come into this house so that he could "show me something".<br />
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The feeling of absolute dread and sickness was immediate and I turned and ran as fast as I could. I now knew what would have happened - it was bad enough with the way I had grown up with him watching me, following my every move and looking at me in <i>that</i> way.<br />
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In a lot of ways, I had to grow up too fast. I had to forget things in order to survive and go on with some twisted way of day to day life. I had to focus on my survival when someone else should have been making sure that I had enough to eat and a clean and safe place to live in. I had to reach out on my own for help because I knew that no one else was only to have that thrown in my face.<br />
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I'm messed up. I'm not going to deny it. I've been through way too much for someone my age. I've seen and heard too much. I've lived through situations that no one should ever have to. I've had to learn to take care of myself and when to block things out, to put up a wall to protect <b>myself</b>. <br />
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Even now that I'm in a safe environment with people that truly love and care about me - it's a struggle. I know that there are people who think that now that I'm safe and getting better that the past should be something that I forget and that I'll be okay in a snap of their fingers.<br />
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No. I won't.<br />
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How can you say that to someone who still buys extra food just to make sure that there's always going to be enough of something to eat? How do you say that to someone who can burst into tears with a simple conversation about growing up? It isn't something I can magically just get over. I've lived this life - deep down, in the trenches, terrified and starving. It isn't something that I can (or will) just forget.<br />
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But at some point, I knew I needed to open up - and that's why I'm thankful for the few friends who have listened and stood by my side on those ugly days where everything surfaces. That's why I'm thankful for the three authors and their books I've read in the last year. They've shown me that I can (and will) get through this, no matter how hard it has been and will be.<br />
Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-22480837747836247852013-02-23T12:11:00.000-08:002013-02-23T12:11:03.559-08:00Review: Ask the Passengers by A.S. KingAsk the Passengers is one of the most recent books I've read this year (I've got a stack of books I want to read and it just keeps growing and growing).<br />
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I cannot tell you how much I needed to read this book at this time in my
life. I came out about six years ago, and it was easily the most
traumatic experience in my entire life. I'm not exaggerating that point.
I still have nightmares about the experience and how I was treated, the
backlash, the comments and the hate. <br /><br />When I stumbled across
this book, I knew it was the right book at the right time - you know,
one of those books that comes into your life at the perfect moment and
leaves a lasting impact. <br /><br />I felt that I was right along with
Astrid on her journey. I knew what she was feeling because I had been
there. I knew how much it hurt, I knew the level of confusion, I knew
the fear. <br /><br />There were a couple of quotes in the book that hit me,
and hit me hard - as if I had spoken them myself - quotes that I knew
exactly how she felt in that moment because I had been there. I am
there. <br /><br />For anyone who is looking for a good contemporary read,
this is it. This book touched me in ways that I can't even begin to
explain. I'll leave you with these two quotes..<br /><br />
<blockquote>
<em>"I see what you're trying to say. But you're wrong. I mean, when
did you first know you were gay? And did you tell anyone on that first
day? Who is anyone to tell me when to talk about something so personal?"</em>
</blockquote>
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<em>"And if any of you have a problem with any of it, then it's your
problem. Being gay is hard enough without having to worry about your
family being weird about it."</em></blockquote>
So, a big, amazing, THANK YOU to <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1651879.A_S__King" title="A.S. King">A.S. King</a> who wrote this amazing book that in many ways helped me heal and really discover who I am.
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<br />Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-10327406692325868892013-01-26T19:53:00.003-08:002013-01-26T19:53:57.994-08:002013, Here I Come. <div style="text-align: justify;">
Well, my plans to blog at least once a week in 2013 had been kicked to the curb as I've spent most of the year so far really sick. Chances are, if I am not working - I am in bed resting. I had a chest cold, then went back to work and came down with the flu two days later. That has turned into a sinus infection and bronchitis, which I am still working on recovering from. </div>
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I'd like to say that it has given me plenty of time to read, but I'm doing a lot of sleeping, still. I hate it, but now that I am up and moving - reading is back on my priority list! </div>
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So far this year I've read two books and have started two more:</div>
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1. Time Between Us </div>
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2. Through the Ever Night</div>
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3. Crossed (started, need to finish)</div>
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4. Ask the Passengers (started, need to finish)</div>
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Class also started so I've got homework on my plate as well. </div>
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Some goals for the new year:</div>
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1. Read 75 books. </div>
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2. Blog for ME - don't feel rushed or pressured to blog, just blog when I can and what I feel like blogging about. It may not be "book" related, but I do plan to write about day to day life, and of course - books and reading. </div>
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3. Try to write more reviews - maybe not a review of everything I read, but the ones that stuck with me, had an impact on me or really made me think. They won't be huge and long reviews, but I'd like to review more books and spread the word. </div>
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4. Most importantly, have fun. </div>
Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-66052740660219479242012-12-14T12:55:00.001-08:002012-12-14T12:55:09.739-08:00today.When I woke up this morning, I was going to get some stuff done for this, read and do some follow Friday stuff over on Twitter. That was before I saw the news and the CNN news alerts that were being sent to my phone (it was on silent).<br />
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Then I saw the news and I couldn't.<br />
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I'm posting this today because I wanted to tell you all that even if we just met this week with the re-launch of this blog, or you've known me for awhile - that you're important to me. You're a part of my life and my life wouldn't be the same without you in it.<br />
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We may not know each other in real life. We may not see each other often. We may not talk every day.<br />
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But, I love you. You mean something to me.<br />
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I just wanted to tell you that today. Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-1582783998048545462012-12-13T12:08:00.000-08:002012-12-13T12:08:02.641-08:00Winter Break Reading ChallengeI figured since I'll have a little under two weeks off of work coming up for the holidays, I figured I would challenge myself to read as many books as I can. This morning when I got up, I pulled out a stack of books from both shelves (I have two in my room) of books I've been meaning to read but haven't gotten the chance to and set them out.<br />
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There are currently seven books in the stack with more that I want to read that are currently sitting on my Kindle.<br />
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My goal is to read at least five of these books over break, if not more. With a light semester starting next month (math class and swimming), I hope that I can continue to read at least one book a week. There will obviously be more read during breaks (spring, and especially summer since I have a month off each summer).<br />
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And here's a peek of some of the books I plan to read (in no particular order):<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ei8bsgLJ9cs/UMo1RZtGlzI/AAAAAAAAAHc/FHE0n_R1W0o/s1600/DSCN6860.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ei8bsgLJ9cs/UMo1RZtGlzI/AAAAAAAAAHc/FHE0n_R1W0o/s320/DSCN6860.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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The challenge begins on December 23, my first day off for winter break.<br />
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Really looking forward to settling in and reading a good stack of books for the first time in a very long time.<br />
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<b>Do you have any books you plan to read over the holidays? </b>Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-80776443301906811302012-12-12T09:00:00.000-08:002012-12-12T10:19:21.611-08:00Introducing Wednesday Words!<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've been trying to figure out a fun and interactive feature to host here at Twirly Reads for months now, and up until today - I had no idea what it would be. This morning as I rolled out of bed, it hit me. Finally. As some of you may know I blog over at <a href="http://www.thehob.org/">The Hob</a> and this summer I started a weekly feature called Wednesday Words.</div>
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It's fairly simple - I'll pick a quote at random (or a reader will submit one) and discuss it and then open it up for discussion from our readers over at The Hob. It is one of my favorite things to do and with every quote, I find myself thinking harder and seeing them in other ways than I may have the first time around. You can see previous posts over at <a href="http://www.thehob.org/tag/wednesday-words">The Hob</a> for a general idea of how they turn out.</div>
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I figured, why not bring it into the book blogging world? I know we all have stacks of quotes that mean something to us, that touched us in some way, the quotes that stick in your mind and the ones that become something like your own motto.</div>
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The quote I chose to kick start this is one that hit me hard, a quote that has stuck with me through the good and bad and one that I feel many people can relate to. The quote comes from <i>My Sisters Keeper</i> by the fabulous Jodi Picoult. </div>
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<i>“Do you know how sometimes - when you are riding your bike and you start
skidding across sand, or when you miss a step and start tumbling down
the stairs - you have those long, long seconds to know that you are
going to be hurt, and badly?”
</i></blockquote>
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In so many ways this quote is something that I can relate to so perfectly that it hurts. This is one of those quotes that hit me so hard it left me breathless. This is a quote that defined so many aspects of my life and a quote that so accurately describes what I may have struggled to describe in the past. </div>
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The most recent experience I could use to describe this quote would be this past Feburary when my grandmother died suddenly of a massive heart attack. For so long before that, I had always wondered what it would be like, how I would react and what would happen in the minutes, hours and days after. I hated myself so many times for even wondering something like that, but with so few experiences with losing a close family member - it was something that frequently crossed my mind. </div>
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I knew the morning that my phone started ringing before 6am, what was going on. I knew that it was my mother before I even had a chance to look at who was calling and I knew exactly what was happening. There was no other reason why she would be calling so early and so frantically - my cell phone, the house phone, my brother's phone and my cell phone before she finally was able to wake me. </div>
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I remember stumbling out into the hallway to give the phone to my grandmother and sinking onto the empty mattress as she spoke quietly to my mother and I knew without even having to hear my mother's words what was happening. I knew that her mother was dying, I knew my grandmother was dying. It took three words for the news to slowly begin to sink in: "I'm so sorry."</div>
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And I knew in that moment - just like the quote says - you're skidding or tumbling and you know you are going to be hurt badly. There's nothing you can do to stop it, everything is happening so quickly and so slowly at the same time. You know the pain is coming and there isn't a single thing that you can do to stop it except to keep tumbling down. </div>
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There wasn't anything I could do stop everything from tumbling, or the pain. None of us expected it to happen, and certainly not like it did. The next few minutes and hours went by in a blur. I remember telling family and friends, but nothing felt real. I a lot of ways, it still doesn't and it's almost been an entire year since she died. </div>
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I knew the moment that the phone call came in that I was going to be hurt, and badly - but I kept tumbling and going through the day and months ahead knowing that I couldn't stop the hurt or that I couldn't have stopped it from happening. Despite all the pain, the hours of trying to take back the thoughts and the things I said in those early hours. It hurt. The entire experience hurt, and it still does. </div>
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This quote speaks so clearly to me right now more than ever because I've been there. I have been in that terror filled moment and knowing I am falling, tumbling and skidding and that the pain is inevitable, but there wasn't anything I could do to stop it from happening. In that moment like in so many others, I had to let myself continue to fall and the hurt sunk in. </div>
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<b>----</b></div>
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I couldn't have picked a better quote to launch this new feature because it is so touching and so though provoking. It is a quote that I know so many of us can relate to at some point in our lives. I'm really looking forward to seeing the quote you pick and share. </div>
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Don't forget to check out what other bloggers post for the week and drop a comment on their entry. Discuss the quote, tell them what you think and how/if you can relate to the quote they've chosen. I'm really looking forward to seeing what everyone picks and I'm so excited to launch this feature! </div>
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Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-19568403526697696322012-12-02T19:04:00.000-08:002012-12-09T20:34:56.318-08:00Earliest reading memories & what I've read so far in 2012..<div style="text-align: justify;">
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For as long as I can remember, there have been books around. Growing up, it was no different. I was surrounded by books. I'm sure my parents read to me even though I don't remember any actual circumstances, but I knew there were books everywhere. Both my parents were (and still are) avid readers. The same goes for my aunt and both of my grandmother's. </div>
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I'm 28 years old now, and it hasn't changed. </div>
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Sure, I've had bouts where my reading wasn't happening as much as I would have liked it to, and then there were the times where all I did was read. This summer after I broke my left foot in a freak accident, I went through a good stack of books while I spent that first miserable week in bed. Things slowed down after that and I'm just now finding the motivation and focus to pick up a book or my Kindle and actually sit down and read. </div>
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<br /></div>
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One of my earliest memories of reading is from Kindergarten. Let's just say that I was the scrawny, shy, freckle faced kid. I hated being the center of attention but I had a small group of friends. I lost a tooth during our Thanksgiving party and my grandmother announced it to the entire class - but my earliest reading memory comes from that year.<br />
<br />
We were learning to read - and the one book we all learned to read together was none other than <u>Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?</u>. I remember sitting on that carpet with all the other kids and reading along with my teacher, so excited, so proud of myself and knowing that I wanted to keep reading. I didn't want to stop.<br />
<br />
It came full circle when I read the book to the two youngest girls I work with one afternoon before their nap time, now I see that same excitement in the girls - they are devouring books, always wanting more, more, and more. While I do have to encourage them at times to sit down and read as part of their daily homework, once they start to read it is almost impossible to get them to stop.<br />
<br />
While I haven't read nearly as much as I would have liked in 2012, I've read more than I have in the past few years. Life threw hurdles at me, but I pushed past. I read when I could. I read when I could find the focus to fully get lost in a story and I watched the huge "to be read" pile get just a bit smaller.<br />
<br />
The year is winding down, but so far I'm pleased with my progress. To re-cap the year in books so far I've read (and these are not in any order):<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Shadow and Bone</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Catastrophic History of You and Me</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;"> Unbreak My Heart</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;"> Fracture</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b> </b>In Honor<b> </b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b> </b>My Life Next Door</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Eve</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Once</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Under The Never Sky </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Shatter me</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;"> Pandemonium</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Insurgent</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Divergent</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Delirium</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Sisterhood Everlasting</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;"> Matched</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">I Am Number Four (in progress)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: georgia;">Destroy Me (in progress)</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: georgia;">I'm happy to have that feeling of excitement when I sit down to read and that feeling you get when you just don't want to put that book down. My hope and goal for the upcoming new year is to continue reading, push myself more and hold onto that love of reading I've had since I was a little kid. </span></div>
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</div>
Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com0Sacramento, CA 95822, USA38.5128714 -121.497029438.4631734 -121.5759934 38.5625694 -121.4180654tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-12171569652981464422012-11-29T18:59:00.001-08:002012-11-29T18:59:26.545-08:00Making progress. . . I was finally able to sit down and start wading my way out of this reading slump I've been in. I finished <u>Matched</u> by Ally Condie this week and I'm now about halfway through another book. Better than nothing, and the weather here helps because I can't exactly go out and do anything.<br />
<br />
I'm really looking forward to my Christmas break from work because I'll get a solid two weeks or so of reading time when I'm not rushing around with my head cut off. I fully intend on doing as much reading as I possibly can then.<br />
<br />
So far this year I have read about 15 books, which is a lot more than previous years. Admittedly, a lot of them were read when I first broke my foot this summer because I had nothing to do at all, but I made progress and if this slump seems to go away.... I'll be able to get a few more done.<br />
<br />
I know this is a short entry, but I figured a small update was better than nothing. I'm going to go find some dinner and bundle up and hide from this nasty storm we're getting out here in northern California. <br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Are there any books you are looking forward to reading? </b>Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-32020512952667020272012-11-21T20:07:00.001-08:002012-11-21T20:07:17.918-08:00Well, I'm back...!Well, that was an unexpected break from blogging.<br />
<br />
The summer was fairly hectic. Not only did I have a broken foot, but my work schedule was back and forth. I had a bunch of work time, then a bunch of time off so things were fairly hectic. Not only that, but I got into a nasty reading slump that is still going.<br />
<br />
Since then, I've been just throwing myself into work. I'm actually on a week long break right now and I'm so thankful for that. I needed it because I was getting burned out, exhausted and too sick too often (thanks immune system) but I do have to admit that I miss the work kids like crazy.<br />
<br />
Things are going fairly well here and I'm happier than I have been in a long time. Things are finally starting to look up, I've got a special someone and I'm happy. Things are working out, things are comfortable and well, I'm happy.<br />
<br />
The only downside is one of our family pets passed away suddenly today. I am so crushed that she is gone. She had two seizures and passed away. We found out that it is more than likely a brain tumor. Very sudden, very unexpected.<br />
<br />
Thanksgiving plans are going to be on Saturday - a big traditional dinner with the family. Tomorrow we are going to eat meatballs and relax.<br />
<br />
That being said, I am looking for some advice and some more followers.<br />
<br />
Here are some fun questions to get things rolling, I'm really looking forward to seeing your answers! <br />
<br />
1) How do you get out of a nasty reading slump? Any tips? Tricks? Ideas?<br />
2) What are the top five books you've read in 2012?<br />
3) What are you currently reading?Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-23847578255904623782012-06-28T12:03:00.001-07:002012-06-28T12:04:07.231-07:00Summer Reading..<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
In an earlier entry, I mentioned that one of my summer goals was to read at least one book per week, so I figured I'd make a running list here of those books so you can all squee with me over my progress, recc me more books and just hang out with me while I read. </div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
BOOKS OF SUMMER 2012:</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<b>1. </b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Grisha-Trilogy-Leigh-Bardugo/dp/0805094598">Shadow and Bone</a><br />
<b>2.</b> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Catastrophic-History-You-And/dp/0803737203/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340909977&sr=1-1&keywords=catastrophic+history+of+you+and+me">Catastrophic History of You and Me</a><br />
<b>3.</b> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Unbreak-My-Heart-Melissa-Walker/dp/1599905280/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340910017&sr=1-1&keywords=unbreak+my+heart+by+melissa+walker">Unbreak My Heart</a><br />
<b>4.</b> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fracture-Megan-Miranda/dp/0802723098/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340910045&sr=1-1&keywords=fracture">Fracture</a><br />
<b>5. </b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/In-Honor-Jessi-Kirby/dp/1442416971/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340910088&sr=1-1&keywords=in+honor+by+jessi+kirby">In Honor</a><br />
<b>6. </b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Life-Next-Door-Huntley-Fitzpatrick/dp/0803736991/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340910117&sr=1-1&keywords=my+life+next+door">My Life Next Door</a></div>
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</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br />
</div>
Not sure what I'll read next since I'm almost done with book six of the summer, but I'm sure I can find something when I wander into Barnes and Noble tomorrow!Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-58158803894211261712012-06-26T16:46:00.002-07:002012-06-26T17:55:21.116-07:00Review: In Honor<div style="text-align: justify;">
One of the books I had the chance to read over the last week or so (there's a bunch, why not read when you're stuck in bed with a broken foot?!) was <a href="http://www.amazon.com/In-Honor-Jessi-Kirby/dp/1442416971">In Honor by Jessi Kirby</a>. It sounded amazing, something I could easily lose myself in and enjoy.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When I started reading - the first thing I felt were the tears. The opening scene of the book broke my heart - for Honor and because of my own recent loss that I'm still struggling with. It's something I still haven't really accepted, and to be honest - it hasn't really even sunk in.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So, here I was - sitting at the pool while the work kids did their swim practice tearing up while I read this book. I was sucked in almost right away, feeling everything Honor felt. I was right there with her, after all - it had been me just a few short months ago.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Honor is grieving her brother, Finn, - he was killed in action as a Marine. The day he is buried, she opens a letter that he wrote to her. Inside, Honor discovers concert tickets and decides that this letter and these tickets are Finn's final wishes and a challenge to her.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
She accepts the challenge.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Except - her brother's ex best friend, Rusty - decides to tag along. He's drunk and passes out in the car. Not what she expected, but Honor is on a mission for her brother and at this point, nothing will stop her. Not even stubborn, drunk Rusty. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The trip from Texas to California isn't easy on either of them. They're both grieving, both trying to cope with this tremendous loss and trying to figure out where to go from here. It isn't easy. It isn't even fun at some parts, but the two begin to become closer and with each other - they honor Finn's memory the best they can.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Every once in awhile, you're bound to pick up a book that will change you. Most of the time, you don't even know that it will when you pick it up and begin to read. This happened to me with <u>In Honor</u> - and the impact it has had on my life in these last few days is still something I'm in awe over.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I said earlier in this post that I could relate to Honor in terms of her grief and loss.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At the end of Feburary, my grandmother passed away suddenly (and very unexpectedly) from a massive heart attack. The phone rang at five in the morning and I knew that something was very wrong. That's the kind of thing you see in the movies - a dead of night phone call to break the worst news.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
No one expected it. As soon as I got the news - I was numb, lost, and I felt cold.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I didn't know how to handle it - when my grandpa passed away in 2004, we knew it was coming because he had been sick for a very long time. When Nana passed away - no one expected it. In fact, she had just recently had a great check up with her cardiologist and all seemed well.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We had started to spend more time together, something that we hadn't done since I was a kid. Family outings to lunch or the local zoo, she made me a cloak because I had been wanting one for years. The last time I saw her was at the end of December at my mother's 50th birthday dinner/party.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As Honor took the words from her brother to heart and accepted the 'challenge', I began to realize while reading that there were things that I needed to do in my life. Things that I knew, deep down, Nana wanted me to accomplish and succeed - no matter how long it took or how hard they were.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
One of them would be embracing the side of the family I never really got to know. It would mean putting aside past hurts, awkward and tense relationships. I was unsure and nervous and terrified. I knew she wanted this - and I also knew (deep down) that it would have been her death that brought us all together.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
More often than not I have been angry. Angry that I didn't get more time with her over the last few months. Angry that we never got to have lunch together again as we had planned. Angry that she was <b>gone</b> and I'm still struggling to accept that fact.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Those few weeks before Nana's death were just as hard - my dad lost the house we grew up in to foreclosure. Two weeks later, Nana died. I'm struggling to get through and deal with some very complex emotions and "things" from my past while trying to live my life to the fullest. I'm wavering back and forth on repairing an old, broken friendship - wondering if it is the right thing to do at the right time.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
These last few months have not been easy at all. They've been rocky - full of emotion, exhaustion and a lot of change all at once.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
After I finished reading <u>In Honor</u>, I realized that I am going to be <b>okay</b>. Things will get better. I also realized there are a few things I need to do to honor the memory of my grandmother - things she always encouraged me to do and things I never got around to. Now I am, because after reading this story - I have to.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm going to learn to drive and I'm going to work hard to earn my GED. These are the two things that she wanted me to do. She wanted me to do well in life and no matter what, she was always there to support and encourage me.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Just like Honor experiences - it isn't an easy journey to take, but no matter what - we should honor the ones we love, as hard as it is. And we have to remember that they are always with us.</div>Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com1Sacramento, CA 95822, USA38.5128714 -121.497029438.4631734 -121.5759934 38.5625694 -121.4180654tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-50009888889754552192012-06-24T12:49:00.000-07:002012-06-24T12:49:22.346-07:00Some good and bad news.Okay, so. Bad news first.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, I have had to make the decision to <b>postpone the readathon</b> until the end of the month. I hated to do it, but I realized this week that I need to. I completely overdid it this week in terms of being up and moving on my foot and got a really bad case of sun poisoning rash (in other words, a very very bad sunburn) and really just need to use the next couple weeks I have off to not do anything but rest.<br />
<br />
The good news?<br />
<br />
I'm still going to the readathon, the dates will just be at the end of the month! I also hope that by doing this I can get more people interested and involved and really be up and doing better myself so I can host this thing properly and not fall over.<br />
<br />
Like I said, I hated making this choice but I need to take care of myself and get better first.<br />
<br />
In other news, I've challenged myself to read at least a book a week and I've done pretty well on that so far. It was nice to be able to sit back and read while I've been stuck in bed (which I still am pretty much because of the extent of the swelling).<br />
<br />
I'm gonna work on getting a couple reviews up this week depending on how the foot is feeling and if I feel well enough to hobble out of bed to my desk.<br />
<br />
Tell me what you're reading or what you've recently read! :)<br />
<br />Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com3Sacramento, CA 95822, USA38.5128714 -121.497029438.4631734 -121.5759934 38.5625694 -121.4180654tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-34611345567872024182012-06-19T18:25:00.001-07:002012-06-19T18:25:35.155-07:00My Very First...ARC came in the mail yesterday!<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mWsb9US7J1Q/T-El_nqZNYI/AAAAAAAAAF0/gIpjx2BC6YE/s1600/DSCN6536.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mWsb9US7J1Q/T-El_nqZNYI/AAAAAAAAAF0/gIpjx2BC6YE/s320/DSCN6536.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I entered some giveaways on GoodReads and this was the first one that I EVER won, and my first ARC. I'm really excited and if I could have been jumping up and down when it arrived last night, I would have been. <br />
<br />
With plenty of time at the pool this week for work (I can't swim with the foot problem), I plan to sit down and start reading this as soon as I can. I planned to today but I never got that far with trying to get into a routine for this week.<br />
<br />
I'm so excited to have my first giveaway win and ARC.<br />
<br />
With work being so hectic this week, I'll try to finish a book or two in my free time and get a couple more reviews up, I just have to get through Friday and then I'm off work for a couple of weeks ... woohoo!<br />
<br />
<br />Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com0Sacramento, CA 95822, USA38.5128714 -121.497029438.4631734 -121.5759934 38.5625694 -121.4180654tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-37447292206678690402012-06-16T14:00:00.001-07:002012-06-16T14:00:01.231-07:00Magic's Pawn, the book that changed my life.Time after time, there is a single book that I will go back
to re-read and lose myself in. That hasn't changed in the last ten years
or so since the first time I got my hands on the book. In many ways, <u>Magic's Pawn</u> by Mercedes Lackey changed my life.<br />
<br />
It
was the first fantasy story I read. It was the book that made me cry
like a baby, ache all over from heartbreak, hope against home and yes,
dare to dream. This book spoke to me on so many levels and more than
that - it taught me so much about <b>myself</b>. <br />
<br />
I
was a teenager at the time and I had just started to branch off into
wanting to read something other than Star Wars novels - and after some
searching online and through the piles of books my father had around the
house, I came across this book.<br />
<br />
I can still remember the
feeling of excitement flooding through me the moment I had it in my
hands after I pulled it out from the shelf above my dad's bed. I held it
tight and raced down the hallway and curled up in my bed to read.<br />
<br />
From
the first page, I was hooked. I was drawn into an entirely new world, a
world I could clearly picture in my head as I read - and I began to
connect with the main character, Vanyel, on a level I had never
connected to a character before.<br />
<br />
His story pulled me into
a vast new world where I could see clearly that he was struggling -
just as I was, to figure out who he was. He was struggling to break out
of the rules and expectations he had grown up, and he was struggling to
find out where be belonged as a young adult.<br />
<br />
It isn't
until he leaves his home to stay with his Aunt Savil, that his life
begins to change in many ways. The biggest being his bond with the
charming 'Lendel (who stole my heart just as quickly as Vanyel did, to
be perfectly honest). <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
We see their friendship begin to form - 'Lendel slowly beings to
coax Vanyel out of his shell and Vanyel begins to drop his walls that he
had so carefully built up to protect himself. We see their friendship
begin to grow into something more - and the night they are together -
let me tell you, my heart melted.<br />
<br />
<br />
'Lendel is now getting to know the real Vanyel, just as we are.<br />
<br />
<br />
Unexpected tragedies strike.<br />
<br />
<br />
Somehow, Vanyel pulls through - but it isn't an easy road. He
fights it. He's lost. He's heart broken, damaged beyond belief and
doesn't know how to live his life - a life he had just thought he had
put back together once he had his 'Lendel.<br />
<br />
<br />
It was this single quote that hit me with a ton of bricks, and
there have been countless times over the last ten years that I've come
back to this quote: <br />
<br />
<blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
<blockquote>
<i>“The great love is gone. There are still little loves - friend to
friend, brother to sister, student to teacher. Will you deny yourself
comfort at the hearthfire of a cottage because you may no longer sit by
the fireplace of a palace? Will you deny yourself to those who reach out
to you in hopes of warming themselves at your hearthfire?”
</i><br />
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<br />
Vanyel, in every way, is struggling to put the pieces of his
life back together. Not only is he grieving and lost - but now he's
faced with the fact that he's got this immense power he has to learn to
control, another burden that he has to handle. One that at first, he
isn't sure he even wants to handle - because it is the same kind of
power that stole the life he was beginning to know from him.<br />
<br />
We see Vanyel being
to harness his power, and learn to live this new life he has ahead of
him. We see him pick up the pieces as hard as it is and live. He lives
to the fullest extent possible, and the ending of this book only proves
that no matter what you face and go through - you can still make it out
on top. <br />
<br />
<br />
There are so many things I can say about this quote, but I want to leave you with this:<br />
<br />
No
matter what happens, no matter what kind of heartbreak or loss you
face, you can still learn to love again. It hurts, it does, I've been
there. I'm still healing - but there's always the "little loves" - your
friends, your family - you can't lock yourself away and refuse to love
again. When you do that - you begin to lose yourself.<br />
<br />
<br />
When you begin to lose yourself, you run the risk of never being
able to open yourself up to love again - and with love, anything is
possible.Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com0Sacramento, CA38.5128714 -121.497029438.4631744 -121.5759934 38.5625684 -121.4180654tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-82567310680620228282012-06-16T10:00:00.000-07:002012-06-16T10:56:56.083-07:00The Kickback and Relax Read-a-Thon!I mentioned in my <a href="http://twirlyreads.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-twirly.html">first post</a> that I had something fun planned to celebrate the start of my new book blog, and here is the post I promised!<br />
<br />
In order to celebrate my brand new blog, what better way than to kick back, relax and read with a read-a-thon?! We all love to read, it's summer and we can all use the time to relax and dive into as many books as we can get our hands on.<br />
<br />
Besides, if you're like me - you've got a stack you want to get through this summer!<br />
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Starting <b>June 29, 2012 through July 6</b>, I'm inviting you to pile up a stack of books, grab some snacks and read! <br />
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Here is where you come in - I want you (yes, <i>you</i>!) to join me in this ten day read-a-thon. I want you tell me what you read, what your goal number is and hang out here and chat with me about the books you're reading. <br />
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Each day I'll post an entry inviting you to tell us what you're reading, what you're enjoying about the book (or on the flip side, not enjoying about the book) and to just hang out and relax. I'll also ask you to give us an update on the goal you've set.<br />
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So, who is in this with me? Leave a comment with a link to your blog, say hello, set yourself a goal number and settle in to hang out!<br />
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I'll make another entry for this shortly where I'll post links to everyone who is participating and open up a little discussion so we can get to know each other, talk about our goals, etc. <br />
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I'm really looking forward to this and I hope you are, too!Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com8Sacramento, CA 95822, USA38.5128714 -121.497029438.4631734 -121.5759934 38.5625694 -121.4180654tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5731452153289019744.post-64853520061225329212012-06-15T18:29:00.000-07:002012-06-15T18:29:22.135-07:00Introducing.... Twirly!After quite a few nudges from friends, I've finally decided to jump on in to the book blogging world. It's something I've been wanting to do for months now - but admittedly, life got (hectic) and in the way. Between a full course load semester, an unexpected move, stuff going on in the family... I never got around to it.<br />
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Until now, and I couldn't be more excited.<br />
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And besides - what better way to start it than sitting around with a broken foot?! I'm restless and feeling like I need to do <b>something</b>, so here I am!<br />
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I am a twenty seven year old northern California native. I've been here my entire life, and as much as I'd love to move away - I honestly don't think I ever will. This is what I know, I've found a nice spot in a quiet part of town, my friends and family are here and well, it's <i>home.</i><br />
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The perks of living here are pretty simple - just hours away from both the ocean and the mountains, plenty of neat places to check out (I'm a couple of hours away from San Francisco!), friends and family galore and plenty of bookstores to spend my time (and money) in. It doesn't get much better than that - and for the most part, we've got decent weather.<br />
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I'm a full time student at a local college where I'm studying Early Childhood Education to become a pre-school teacher, but also working on my requirements for a Nursing program. I figure I can put what I've learned in my ECE courses to use in Nursing and make it work. I'm all about being able to help people and with nursing, I know I'll be able to do just that and continue to work with kids.<br />
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Speaking of working with kids - I've been working as a nanny for three girls in the area for the last five years. It is exhausting, but it is so rewarding. The last five years have taught me so much about life, kids, families and about myself. I've really come out of my shell and this job is really what made me go into ECE as a career because I realized just how much I adore working with kids and their families. It's just breathtaking, rewarding and a lot of fun. We have a lot of fun adventures together and I couldn't ask for a better job or a better work family.<br />
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I'm also a blogger over at <a href="http://www.thehob.org/">The Hob</a> where I get to indulge in another huge passion of mine... The Hunger Games! The series as a whole changed my life and being able to work with such an amazing team is something that brightens my day up. We have a lot of fun and being able to write about one of my favorite things? Can't beat that! We're all anxiously gearing up for the start of <i>Catching Fire</i> to start filming and all the casting announcements.. love it!<br />
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I'm also an avid reader, which is really why I started this blog. In the summer all I do is read (it helps that I get a good chunk of time off to do that) and make up for whatever I miss during the school year (because lets face it, reading on top of a full course load? NOT EASY). I come from a family of bookworms - my mother, my father, my aunt and my grandmothers. We all read, between all of us - there's <b>too</b> many books (if there is such a thing).<br />
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What do I read?<br />
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A little of everything. The Twilight Saga got me into the entire young adult genre and after reading books like <u>The Hunger Games</u> and <u>Divergent</u>, I am hooked. I also read stacks of paranormal romance (J.R. Ward, Sherrilyn Kenyon, etc). I am always looking for new things to read - I just started reading a bunch of YA contemporary novels and I'm just as hooked on those as I am the dystopian novels. I'm easy to please when it comes to reading, believe me. Hand me a book and I'm a happy girl. <br />
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I wanted to start blogging to connect with other readers, to expand my reading horizons and just have a good time. And let's face it - there's never enough books to read even though you have a growing stack of books by your bed or on your e-reader - that's part of the fun!<br />
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Getting to know other bloggers and creating new friendships is something I am really excited about by starting this blog in addition to all the fun things I'll be able to learn about and read - so please, don't be shy about coming over and saying hi! I'm really easy going and love to meet new people. You'll find links to my <a href="http://www.twitter.com/softeyes">Twitter</a>, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/twirly">Facebook</a> and <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/underourwillow">GoodReads</a> account around here, too. Please feel free to add me and say hi, I'm always around to chat! <br />
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Not only am I kick starting this blog, but I'm celebrating by hosting something very fun, which I'll post details to very, very soon so keep your eyes out!Twirly Readshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08423662281176290358noreply@blogger.com8Sacramento, CA 95822, USA38.5128714 -121.497029438.4631734 -121.5759934 38.5625694 -121.4180654